It's My World and Y'all Just Live In It!

I lifted my hand, palm facing upwards. I was initiating a high [?] five as you walked forward to greet me. I assumed you would respond by slapping it.

But you didn't. You were about to, but you hesitated. It got cut off by.. I don't know what.

Instead, you resorted to a subtle grip.

I felt the tension in our fingers.

I quickly pulled away.

First boyfriend? No. First "love", first guy to ever introduce me to his family, first I-don't-care-if-I'm-crying-in-front-of-my-dad breakup? Yes, yes, and yes.

There was tension in the air. I don't think it was because the feelings that used to be there ARE still there, because clearly (atleast for my part) they're long gone, but probably because the concept of US will always be there. Even among our friends. It's in the history books, and everytime you re-read it, it takes you back in time when Me = You is all there ever was.

And probably because we both knew that it could have been US again, if I just chose to. A month before he got married, he was still sending hints that he wants me back, just like what he was inconsistently doing a couple of years after our breakup. I chose to ignore them for very obvious reasons, and which reasons he has just proven very right.

I don't want awkwardness, I just want us to be plain, platonic friends. I JUST WANT US TO BE NORMAL, ORDINARY, NON-DIFFERENT. But I guess that'll never ever work.